I really need help. I am in a very serious romantic relationship with my boyfriend. However, I am also incredibly close with one of my guy friends. My boyfriend and I got into a huge argument because he is jealous over “how much more naturally” I act with my friend than I do with him. I feel that the way I act with my friend is reasonable.
This whole situation really bothers me. My boyfriend wants me to stop seeing my friend, but I’m not willing to give up a friendship that I really value. Do you have any suggestions on how I should handle this?
Relationship rule number one: Without trust you’ve got nothing. Relationship rule number two: Jealousy is the root of all evil. Relationship rule number three: Never give up a friendship in order to make a relationship work out.
Girl, I’m seeing major conflict in all three areas here. You need to deal with this right away. You say your relationship is “very serious” and so I assume it is long term. Has this issue never come up before? Yes or no, you need to sit down with your boyfriend and rationally, without screaming or fighting, find out exactly what bothers him about your friendship with this man.
Make it clear to your boyfriend that you will not end this friendship because it is very important to you. But if there is some way to make it easier on him, you will try. Being willing to compromise is also in my top five relationship rules.
If your guy says he does not like you hanging out with other men, end things now. That sounds like dangerously jealous and overprotective behavior and it will likely only get worse. You don’t need that type of person in your life.
If he says he feels you are too affectionate or flirty with your pal, maybe you could try to tone it down a bit when you’re around him but keep in mind what I said about trust, your boyfriend should not feel threatened. Remind him that you love him and find him attractive.
If your guy is not willing to talk about this calmly with you or compromise on this issue then as difficult as it may be, I see only one solution. Get out. Remember this, relationships will come and go, but friendships are forever.