My husband and I have been married just over two years, and a year ago he was diagnosed with diabetes. Since that time he has had no sexual desires at all, nothing, not even a twinge or a stirring. He refuses to see his doctor about it and states when he feels like it he’ll let me know. This whole situation is driving me crazy. What can I do?
Impotence, the inability to maintain a firm erection long enough for sexual intercourse, remains the bete noir of many men who remain unconvinced — all evidence to the contrary — that sexuality is purely a genital phenomenon.
Between 30% and 50% of diabetic men will experience impotence as a complication of the disease. It is related to neuropathy — nerve damage caused by high sugar content in the blood surrounding the nerve fibers. But there are psychological factors at play here as well, that have to do with the way men view disease — as if being sick is a personal failure.
If your husband was sexually active up until the time of his diagnosis and then suddenly lost interest, we can presume that what’s at play here is something more than the organic inability to maintain an erection.
Unfortunately, this is not a problem which readily lends itself to do-it-yourself cures. If you push your husband on the sex issue, you’ll be met with resentment. However, it’s obviously an issue of dire need of address. I would suggest that you both seek out the help of a family counselor.