I’m about to go out on my first date since my divorce a year and a half ago. I was married for 15 years and I’m terribly nervous. How should I act? What should I say? Could you offer some advice?
First, let me tell you to be yourself! Yes, you’ve been out of the dating scene for awhile and you’re feeling a little rusty, but the last thing you want to do is try to be someone you’re not. The great thing about dating is that it doesn’t change very much over the years. Everyone still has the same anxieties and problems they had 20 years ago – and I should know; the same questions come up again and again.
If it makes you feel any better, chances are your date is probably feeling nervous too. It doesn’t matter how often you date or how experienced you are, a first date is always nerve-wracking. Try to think about the two of you being in it together.
I date all the time and I still get the jitters. There’s nothing like going out to spend a few hours with someone you hardly know and possibly eating in front of him. Just be sure not to order spaghetti. I once had a disastrous experience with parmesan – but I digress. Back to you!
Whatever you do, definitely be yourself! Tell yourself, over and over again, this guy is incredibly lucky to have you as a date. Remember that you never have to see him again if you don’t want to. Also, try and be positive about the whole thing. You could be in for the most romantic and exciting night of your life! Don’t hope for a candy-coated dream but don’t expect the worst either. Since you accepted a date with this man, there’s got to be something enticing about him.
Finally, give yourself a pat on the back for getting out there again. I know so many divorcees who are so afraid to date, they stay locked up in their homes watching TV or tending to their kids. Come to think of it, I know of lot of single people like that. Think of this first step as a huge investment in yourself. If it doesn’t work out, there will be plenty of others. This is a whole new chapter in your life where you’ll meet tons of fascinating people who you wouldn’t have met otherwise.