I am going out with a guy who cares for me a lot but I’m afraid that I don’t care as much for him. In fact, the only reason we’re dating is because I feel sorry for him. He’s been very nice to me and I want to let him down gently but I’m not sure how. Could you give me some advice?
You’ve certainly managed to put yourself into an awkward position, but at least you realize you have to put an end to things – for both your sakes.
As the saying goes, “honesty is the best policy,” but be careful – you could end up really hurting his feelings if you are too honest and up-front with him. Although men are often thought of as the “stronger” sex, they can experience heartbreak just as much as we women do.
Revealing the truth about why you’ve been dating him is not necessary. Simply explain to him that although you recognize and appreciate how much he cares for you, you just don’t feel the same way. Be sure you don’t offer any reasons for him to hope that you may feel differently about him in the future. Also, make a point of telling him that he deserves to be with someone who can reciprocate his feelings and affection.
You’ve misled him long enough – be straightforward, empathetic, and don’t expect his admiration for you to continue once you’ve broken his heart. You obviously care enough about him to be concerned about his feelings: don’t be surprised if your heart gets a little broken in the end as well.