I made the mistake of becoming involved with a colleague. Now, unfortunately, my feelings for him have changed and I do not want to date him anymore. How do I end our romantic relationship, despite the fact that we are constantly together? I don’t want to make him feel rejected because I honestly do like him as a person. I also want to make sure that whatever I say is sincere. Help!
It sounds as though you know what you have to do – and say. Be honest, be sincere, and talk to him now. Breaking off a relationship is never easy to do, especially when the person is a “good guy” whom you still have to interact with daily after your break-up.
All you can do is tell him that your feelings have changed, that you are still fond of him and respect him, but that a romantic relationship is not something you want to continue. You should also think about why you got involved with him. Was it simply a matter of convenience? Or did you genuinely think that the relationship would work? Either way, be up-front with him. Hopefully he’ll recognize and appreciate your sincerity.
One thing you should discuss with him is if, and how, this is going to affect your business relationship and the environment in which you both work. Your professional relationship could be affected by your personal relationship. Whatever you do, don’t have this conversation at work – or even over lunch. And, after you break-up, don’t let things get nasty or petty with emails – the last thing you want is a written record of the break-up.
Be as discreet about breaking up with your co-worker as you were about dating him. Some people in your office may still be oblivious to your relationship. Don’t let them find out about the break-up by the water cooler.