I met a man on the Internet, and when we met face-to-face there was an instant connection. We dated for about seven months, and then I found out he had a wife. He told me that they were separated and had been for a while. I wasn’t sure if I could believe him, so I stopped seeing him.
About a year down the road, he contacted me out of the blue. The divorce is final now and he would like to give us another try. We agreed to do so, but I can’t seem to make myself trust him as completely as I once did. I am constantly suspicious. I don’t like feeling this way. If he is being honest, then I know this would be a wonderful relationship. What do I do?
With anonymity being one of its most attractive features, don’t expect to meet truthful, honest guys on the Internet. That’s lesson number one. Lesson number two: hiding the truth is pretty much the same as lying. If this guy failed to tell you that he was married while the two of you were chatting in cyberspace, he should have definitely spilled his story when you started dating exclusively.
Separated or not separated, a wife is a wife and a former marriage is a former marriage – things that you should have the benefit of knowing before you get involved with someone. What’s even more revealing is that when he finally told you about his wife and the fact that they were separated, you weren’t sure you could believe him. Does that mean you suspected he was cheating on her with you? That possibility alone is enough reason to keep him at the curb. Men who cheat on their wives don’t score very high in my books.
You are having some major doubts, doubts I don’t think you can or should try to get over. We’re not talking about him fibbing about his age, or his salary, or the kind of car he drives. What can I tell you? This might seem harsh but I truly believe that once a big liar, always a big liar. Life isn’t based on potentials. You’ve fallen for what he potentially could be, but why waste time on a “could be” when there are guys out there who will treat you well right from the beginning?